God has created us all with inherent qualities, gifts and talents. These gifts shape how we view life, how we relate to others and how we impact the world. We delight when we are operating in our gifts, and when used properly, they are a blessing to others.

Unfortunately, when misapplied, our unique gifts and personalities can also hinder us from living the abundant life Christ died for us to live. This can occur as a result of three  factors:  A) Trauma from childhood events; B) Worldly influences; C) Satan.

A)  Trauma from childhood events

As children, when we are impressionable and not able to distinguish truth from lies, we can experience an event or even internalize an event that can change the way we view ourselves and the world. This is called a limiting (faulty) belief. Studies show that faulty beliefs are normally formed between the ages of 5-7 years old. During this stage of our lives, what we see, what we hear, what we’re repeatedly told, is fed into our fragile subconscious mind where it’s treated as fact. As we grow older, these limiting beliefs continue to be triggered unconsciously and regularly and can create false identities meaning they lead us to become someone who God did not intend for us to be.

For example, let’s say you’ve been blessed with the gift of having a servant’s heart – meaning you are very thoughtful and considerate of other people’s feelings.  Then an event or series of events occurred that made you feel worthless, unloved, or unlovable early as a child, that becomes a part of your belief system. As a natural servant, you learned that being really nice to people (parents) would temporarily make you feel loved by them and win their approval. In your mind, you might form the belief that being nice equals love. As you grow up, this pattern continues and every time you experience a feeling of worthlessness or rejection, you try to please. Consciously you are not aware of this but it affects everything you do. These beliefs also become the lens of our existence. These are the colored glasses through which we perceive life.

B) Worldly influences

We live in a world of good and bad, light and darkness. If we’re not careful the lure of the world will dictate the type of person we should be. When we’re not in alignment with who God has called us to be, we will align with who we’ve been programmed by the world to be. Without our compass to direct us to our Heavenly Father, we end up reflecting a lesser version of ourselves.

C)  Satan

Satan uses every possible device including our unique personalities and gifts to enslave us.  He attempts to distort and corrupt every good thing God has given us. His greatest weapon is psychological deception. In his scheme, he makes us believe we are inferior, inadequate and of no-value to others and especially to God.

As a result of one, two or all of the above factors, our personalities and gifts begin to get in the way of living the abundant life that Christ died for us to live when we use them as a mask to hide our brokenness; when we use them to get what we want, or to manipulate others so they can see us in a certain light. The key to our healing is to learn to let go of the false identities that we’ve taken on and return to God’s original intent and design for our unique make up and personalities.

Over the years of working with hundreds of clients, here are the common personalities that I’ve encountered and how they’ve been misapplied in our lives. Please note that this is not an exhaustive list but it’s what I notice gets in the way of people’s breakthrough. Please, also, note that although there is scientific basis behind this as far as their biblical and health connections goes, these are based on my personal experience and insights.

Read these identities below and thoughtfully and prayerfully, ask God to help you discern which one of these personality traits are most like you. If one is, be encouraged as you learn the strengths of your unique gifts but also notice how these gifts have been (mis)applied and are now preventing you from achieving the joy, abundance and health that Christ died for you to achieve.

Click on the images below for a detailed description of each personality type.

Servant/ People Pleaser


RESET- Strategies for Change

As health-conscious Christian women, God repeatedly speaks to us about our health and our lives through his Word but because of our false identities we continue to subconsciously add our limited understanding and our broken ways of doing things to His Word so we never fully get healed.

This subconscious programming is why releasing weight is like an uphill battle. It keeps us spinning our wheels year after year without ever making any progress.

So just how do we change these false identities and/or subconscious programming? Although each identity is different in the way they manifest and limit your perspective on God; a familiar thread runs through each of them. Upon closer inspection, we can see that at the root of each identity is a need to experience the true and living God and to understand just how much He loves us. Most, if not all, of our strongholds arise because we are unable to accept God’s love for us. When we learn how to receive His love then, we will learn to act in way that demonstrates love for ourselves. When we operate on this level, our weight and health will no longer be an issue.

Reset is a process that  involves a variety of strategies ranging from spiritual daily preparation of your hearts and minds to long term, practical solutions for self-care. Here’s are six strategies for resetting. Each strategy will be specific and unique to each of the false identities with similar threads running through each of them.

1. Morning Reflection:

When you wake up in the morning it’s crucial that you prepare your mind for the day. Depending on which identity you most identified with, start your day in prayer to align your heart and mind with God’s. (2 Cor 10:4)

2. Regular Realigning:

When you act out of your limiting belief or false identity (people-please, control, boast or act overly dramatic) you behave in ways that don’t line up with who God created you to be. This is the time to seek the Holy Spirit and come into alignment with you are in Christ. (2 Cor 10:5) Notice the behavior and either pray the short prayer or renew your mind by citing scripture that relates to your habit or behavior.

3. After you’ve given in to temptation:

We will not win all of our battles but our success rate will be dramatically improved when we can renew our mind AFTER we’ve fallen into temptation. This strategy will be the same for each group regardless of your false identity. (Eph 4:23)

4.  Re-educating Yourself

Learning who we are in Christ is one of the best things we can do for our self-esteem, confidence, freedom, and to help us finally stop fighting the losing battle. Our Heavenly Father longs for us to know truth. Truth is a powerful weapon we have to fight against the enemy’s lies. Truth is developed from developing a relationship with God and fully experiencing Him. Relationship builds trust and trust builds love. When we can learn to love God, our neighbor and ourselves, we will be free. Follow this excellent link to learn more about who you are in Christ. http://crossinglouisville.com/sermon/our-identity-in-christ/

5. Long-term Strategy

It’s taken you years to develop some of these habits and patterns so you should not expect healing to occur with the push of a (reset) button. Begin by selecting one new habit that you will develop that has been holding you back. Choose one from the suggested list or come up with your own.

Refer back to the individual identities for strategies on how to RESET.