On Monday I hosted my second webinar and needless to say, it was an epic fail.
Not only did the webinar site crash within the first 5 minutes of the webinar, it also caused my computer to crash until the next day! I managed to regroup using my husband’s computer to finish the webinar but I never regained my confidence and I spent that evening feeling like a failure and a fraud.
Why did I feel like a fraud? Because I’ve committed my life to helping people get to the root of their weight loss struggles and there I was drowning my sorrows in a rum and coke and stuffing my face with crackers right out of the box with 3 slices of Swiss cheese (because there were only 3 slices left).
I woke up the next morning feeling like I let myself down as well as everyone that I speak to, counsel and encourage. If only my readers and fans could see me now. As I berated myself I heard the sweet and gentle voice of God remind me that He was not judging, criticizing or berating me. He only guides, teaches and directs. He reminded me that His love for me is tender and forgiving. So if it wasn’t God’s voice chastising me then whose voice was it?
It was a very familiar voice that I have embraced over the years. The voice of my false identity. The voice of the enemy reminding me that I am a poor victim.
I’d taken on this ‘victim’ identity as a result of being victimized as a child and once again, it was now running the show. Even though the victimization happened over 30 years ago, that tired old script was running in my head.
Wow, talk about making a lesson real! This was the entire topic that I was discussing in the webinar and the Lord showed me how I’m still there. Ouch and amen!
I thank God that I am not where I want to be but I’m not where I used to be. In the past, this would have been a week long self-victimization saga yet it only lasted a few hours.
So believe me when I tell you that I (we) need God every second of the day. Don’t ever think you’ve got this. I confess(ed) that I am an over-comer in Christ. I am not a victim but a victor and I re-recorded the webinar. You can get your free download here.
I pray that every yoke will be destroyed in your life. I declare that you are not who the enemy wants to identify you or tag you as. You are an over-comer and you are victorious. You are making progress everyday your trip-ups will be turned into testimonies.
In Faith and Health,
P.S. You can listen to the webinar about Reclaiming your True Identity here.