Since my teen years, I remember always feeling like the fat girl—undesired and unwanted because of my weight. I always had this thought that ‘if only’ I could lose weight I could somehow become worthy of love and affection. This pattern of low self-worth and weight struggle continued well into my adult years. The only difference was that the excess weight also began to affect my health.
Since my late 20’s, I have struggled with diabetes and autoimmune issues. My autoimmune issues got so out of control, I couldn’t lift my arms to wash my own hair. As I aged (I’m 42), those issues grew along with my weight.
I have tried so many diets to regain control of my health and lose weight: Weight Watchers, Seattle Sutton, Low Fat/Low Calorie, Low Carb, etc., and I had some success at weight loss over the years—however, I was never able to keep it off. My highest weight was 238 pounds. When I began WLGW, I was weighed 227 pounds and was teetering back and forth, toying with the 230s again. What I found from this program that was lacking in my previous efforts, was a connection to God. Through the lessons, I invited Him to dig into my dark places and allowed His healing.
I began to practice surrender. I surrendered to doing things that I never wanted to do before: tracking my food, daily accountability with lessons that challenge me, a partner who I can have a real, vulnerable conversation with, and also an open relationship with my heavenly Father. Many of those things I thought I had in place before, especially my relationship with God. Yet, by bringing Him into my struggle with food on a daily, sometimes hourly or minute-by-minute basis, has been a game-changer for me. My active ongoing conversations with God keep me in contact with Him, helping me to stay on course.
So far, I have released 31 pounds. Due to that loss, I have regained so much of my health. I am no longer diabetic and my autoimmune issues are much more manageable. My pain level that used to incapacitate me is now at a livable level.
I have another 25 pounds that I want to lose and have a tendency to get obsessive about this, especially when I don’t feel like the numbers are moving as fast as I think they should. When that happens, I remember the word SURRENDER. I just keep doing the footwork and trust the rest to God. For me, that means I track my food and do my best to stay within my calorie goal; I exercise 5 days a week; I do my daily lessons coupled with prayer and reflection time; I listen to ‘Seek Him Saturday’ calls if I can’t make a live call; I write to my accountability partner each week for check-in; and most importantly, I pray. I pray all day long for strength and to honor God in all I do. My word for the year has been ‘Health.’ My verse for the year has been Luke 8:48, “Then he said to her, “Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace.” I believe that through Christ, I AM being restored. Praise Him!
Amen. Yes , surrender. God speaks that to me as well. I’m working on it. I know that giving up those things that don’t pls God that God will give me something better. Amen.
Jennifer, Thank you again for sharing your story so that our sisters in WLGW can be inspired and uplifted by it. ❤️, Ena