Are You a ‘Hardaholic’? Take this Quiz

Over my 30 years of training clients, I realize that the issues with weight loss are not, ‘what to eat’, ‘how much sugar you consume’, or ‘what exercises to do’; so I stopped making that the focus. Yes, of course they’re all important. You probably can attest that you’ve tried them all and they work for a while, but then, they don’t. Or, to be more frank—YOU stop working them.

The problem is not with the diet. Diets, actually DO work; that’s why you see some people achieve amazing results while you’re left with the same nagging thoughts, “What’s wrong with me?”; and berate yourself until the next diet comes along. Or, if you’re an excusemaker or blamer, you’ll blame it on the diet, or your health condition, or the weather that day.

The reason we fail at every diet we try is because we bring our same faulty mindsets with us to every diet and program. These mindsets eventually become our way of being—our m.o. (method of operation), so to speak. We adopt them as fact and begin to live our lives in these false identities—never recognizing that they’re built on false premises.

The false identity I want to help you overcome in this post is the ‘hardaholic.’

The word ‘hardaholic’ comes from Alan Cohen’s book, Enough Already, and it describes someone who is addicted to doing things (weight loss, earning a living, parenting, thinking, relationships, trusting God) the hard way.

Take the short quiz to see if you might be a ‘hardaholic’:

  • You believe that life is supposed to be a struggle.
  • Success is the result of a lot of blood, sweat, and tears.
  • Asking for what you want is selfish.
  • Putting your needs before others is selfish.
  • It’s vain to want to have a nice body.
  • You have to work your **** off to be thin and healthy.
  • You often feel guilty doing things for yourself.
  • You find it hard to receive from others or ask for help.

If you answered ‘yes’ to most of these beliefs, you could be a ‘hardaholic.’ You’re addicted to struggle and make things harder for yourself than they need to be. For ‘hardaholics’ your weight loss journey (and life) will always be an uphill battle.

Sadly, this belief is so prevalent, especially among Christian women. Where did this notion come from? From the Bible? Really? Last I read, my Bible says,

“For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” Matthew 11:28

“Her ways are pleasant ways, and all her paths are peace.” Proverbs 3:17

“Those who love Your law have great peace, And nothing causes them to stumble.” Psalm 119:165

“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” 2 Corinthians 12:9

“Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.” Hebrews 4:16

“The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want.” Psalm 23:1

“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” Philippians 4:13

“Martha, Martha, the Lord replied, “you are worried and upset about many things. But only one thing is necessary. Mary has chosen the good portion, and it will not be taken away from her.” Luke 10:41;42

And I can probably list another 20 verses that allude to the point that we are not supposed to be tirelessly struggling through day-to-day life, living overwhelmed and stressed-out.

So why all the drama? The white-knuckling through life? Why all the struggle? Why do we make everything so complicated?

We’ve probably inherited much of our belief systems from our parents. Some of us are hardwired that way. Remember the story of Mary and Martha? And well-intentioned pastors and priests have taught us many Bible verses that reinforce the struggle.

In the Bible, the pharisees were masterful at overcomplicating life with impossible rules and regulations that no one could follow. If we look at our lives, we’ve put the same burdens on ourselves (Matt. 11:28).

To that end, Jesus offers us the same wisdom that he offered the people of that time. As a proclaimed ‘recovering hardaholic’, this is the message I’m teaching myself and sharing with you now.

And, as a ‘recovering hardaholic’, instead of giving you a complicated answer, or a 10 step system for you to follow, I’m going to keep in-line with this post and make it easy.

So let’s start with one thing for you to practice, and then next week, I will give you another strategy. So here goes!


As you go about your day today, notice what attitude you bring to your daily tasks. Just notice how complicated your life is.

What feeling(s) do you bring to the tasks you have to do? Is there a lot of angst and anxiety around your day? Are you overwhelmed by what you have to do? What ‘story’ are you telling yourself about your life? About your health journey? Is it hard to eat healthy? Is it hard to find the time to exercise?

Effective immediately, stop saying how hard things are!

Just notice how often you say it, feel it, or think it. Approach it with a sense of curiosity and intrigue.

Don’t judge yourself or feel bad for saying it. Instead, every time you find yourself saying that something is hard, replace it with this phrase,

“This is easy, I can do it with the Lord as my strength.”

Because you’re a ‘recovering hardaholic’, you’re going to be tempted to overcomplicate it and promise yourself to say it 10x per day. Or you’ll begin making bumper stickers to paste everywhere—STOP IT!

Ask the Holy Spirit to lovingly show you when you’re making things harder than they need to be and TRUST that he will. That’s it! Simple, right?

Take a moment and imagine a simpler, easier life. It IS possible. Trust God and trust His Word that it will happen for you.

Please practice this, and if you feel led, take a moment and let me know how it’s impacting you.


P.S. If you’re tired of being a ‘hardaholic’ and want to learn how to overcome your limiting mindsets and beliefs so you can finally release excess weight and live the life you were created to live, registration is now open for Step 2: Breakthrough. This our our automated program that follows the Challenge.

If you completed our free online program, Step 1: WLGW 21-Day Challenge, you can learn all of the transformation tools that so many of us are using to achieve our health and weight release goals. Learn more here —> BREAKTHROUGH NOW!

Notify of
Geraldine V
Geraldine V

WOW! I just read this after doing my FIRST Saturday morning group which was based on Psalm 46:10 “Be still and know that I am God”! To say that God is really trying to tell me something is an understatement! He is about really transforming my mind and I am EXCITED this morning! Thank you Cathy for walking the path before us and gleaning all that you have learned so you can teach it to us so we can be free also!!!!


[…] not your fault.  that you’ve developed some of these feelings which created learned habits that keep you in this crazy cycle. A lot of them developed  in your […]

Donnie G
Donnie G

I read this two times. Some I say no, right away. Others I think I can relate to. Several are YES. Will make a copy and do some soul
searching. Thanks for sharing this Cathy.